


...or near enough

by starbuckstomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, again here i go using tags incorrectly, as usual, casual oneshot, i guess??, inspired by a tumblr post when did i become that person, liam does pushups, louis makes assumptions, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2458292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbuckstomlinson/pseuds/starbuckstomlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sounds coming from Liam's hotel room are definitely not helping Louis set the mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	...or near enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guinevere_grey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guinevere_grey/gifts), [weareonceinalifetime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareonceinalifetime/gifts).



> inspired by that tumblr post about your otp doing pushups and then it kinda got away from me?
> 
> title from arctic monkeys' "snap out of it" which is the soundtrack of my life
> 
> **having absolutely nothing to do with real events. obviously. because how the fuck would i know.**

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Louis muttered, tossing a pillow at the hotel room wall that separated his room from Liam’s. The grunting had been going on for far too long, and at this point, Louis was more annoyed at Liam’s stamina than anything. Fed up, he texted Harry.

_u and Z wanna come over 2 mine?_

_Z’s w/ liam,_ came Harry’s instant reply.

Louis gaped at his phone, and Harry sent another message before he could find words for a reply.

_w/ N at pool u shd join_

And then,

_everything ok?_

Shaking his head (and glaring in the direction of Liam’s room), Louis assured Harry that everything was fine and maybe he’d join them later. _After I bust these two jokers_ , he didn’t add. He honestly couldn’t believe they thought they could hide this from him. Pathetic.

He pulled his pants on, set his shoulders, and headed into the hallway, steeling himself for what was about to happen. He did have Liam’s spare keycard, but he decided he’d at least do them the courtesy of knocking.

After a few quick raps, there was a crash from inside.

“Just a sec!” That was Zayn, sounding a little giggly.

“Shit, I’m--” And Liam, sounding very out of breath.

That was it. Louis swiped the card and stormed in, an entire lecture on the tip of his tongue about neighborly etiquette and _band_ etiquette and for crying out loud they were being _safe_ , right?!--but he stopped short as the door swung shut behind him.

Zayn was on his side on the floor, clutching a magazine and half on top of a shirtless Liam. Louis blinked.

Zayn was fully clothed, and his hair was more or less intact, while Liam was red-faced and covered in sweat, but they were both giggling helplessly as Louis stood there, speechless. He....he legitimately had no idea what was going on here. Maybe it was some sort of kink thing like, Liam gets all hot and bothered and Zayn pretends to ignore him and reads a magazine--was that _GQ_? Why were they both _laughing_? Sure, Harry sometimes laughed when he was caught, but that was Harry. Louis would have at least expected _Liam_ to be a blushing mess. Liam was _always_ a blushing mess.

“What...What is going on here?”

“I was at _forty-eight_!” Liam whined, collapsing onto his stomach. “Forty _-eight_ , Louis!”

Zayn nodded. “New personal best, though.”

“New personal best _what_?!” Louis was horrified. He honestly...was having a really hard time imagining what that number could possibly represent. And he knew from personal experience that his imagination was _very_ active and healthy, thank you very much.

Liam and Zayn both looked at him like he’d grown a second head (which would have honestly been less shocking than whatever was happening right now).

“Pushups, mate,” Zayn said, like it was obvious. _Like it was obvious!_

“But...” Louis couldn’t decide if he was serious. “Liam can do way more than forty-eight pushups?”

Liam laughed, rolling onto his back and into Zayn’s lap. “He was sitting on my back,” he explained, patting Zayn’s cheek.

Louis narrowed his eyes. That would explain everything, but something still smelled fishy. “Zayn was sitting on your back, reading a magazine, while you did pushups and grunted like you were about to come. For the last twenty minutes.” He didn’t really word it like a question, but Louis figured his eyebrows added the question mark.

“It wasn’t twenty minutes,” Liam argued, indignant, as Zayn snickered.

“ _Whatever!_ ” Louis glared at him. “I was _busy_ , and your-- _sounds_ \--were highly distracting and honestly a little disturbing.”

“Busy, huh?” Zayn raised one eyebrow. “Busy trying to beat one off right quick?”

Liam smirked. “We heard your playlist.”

“Irrelevant,” Louis hissed. “I don’t know how you could even hear anything over those obscene noises you were making,” he snapped, turning to leave.

“Awww, Lou, don’t be like that,” Zayn called after him. “We’ll invite you next time, see how many Liam can do with both of us on his back.” He winked suggestively, and Liam blushed, but Louis paused, considering.

“Let me know.”

Liam buried his face in his hands as Zayn chuckled, and Louis didn’t slam the door behind him. This both explained a lot and raised several more questions. He certainly had a lot to talk to Harry about, including but not limited to the fact that the lads apparently knew when he was wanking based on what music he played. Shit.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://www.ridiculouisly.tumblr.com) ! :)


End file.
